I'm an open book; you just have to be willing to read.
Saturday, 6 September 2014
An Open Book ; Who Am I?
Well. That's the question, isn't it? Who exactly am I? To start with, my name is Bridgette Kemeny. A seventeen year old girl attending Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic High School. I love listening to all kinds of music, engaging myself in art and writing, and I'm a hard worker. Although, I must admit that Dairy Queen isn't the hardest job. I'm an open book. People describe me as predictable and quiet but I often find that I surprise myself. Tattoos, creative classes and the social arrangements I often find myself in isn't what I pictured my life to be when I first started High School. Throughout the years I've realized I changed quite dramatically. Change can be scary. In the effort to find out who I really am, I've lost many of those people I used to call friends but I've also gained new ones. These are now people who support my passions and my creative drive and determination to finally make something of myself, and to be who I really want. The truth is though, I'm still trying to figure out who I am and where I want to go. I haven't had a chance to get out and see the world, and let it impact me and help me grow. I'm still on this journey called life. I won't let my struggles with health, family, and financial problems determine who I am. Even though all those experiences help shape who you are, I don't believe it makes you. I'm still trying to piece all these experiences, feelings, and passions together in an attempt to find out who I am. I don't have it all figured out, but this is me for now. A mystery.
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Fabulous reflection Bridgette. It is honest, and insightful. If reads as if your are sharing issues about which you feel strongly and that is very engaging for a reader. It's also intriguing because your refers to things such as health and financial challenges, but don't spell them out. Again, this invites the readers to stick with your blog and find out more as you continue.
ReplyDeleteOn the technical end you have a problem with conjunctions. These words join two complete thoughts. Words like and, so, but and however. They only begin a sentence if it is an inverted compound sentence. You have used "however" twice where you only have half the thought. Should be "I do have a job outside of school, however the Dairy Queen..." "I've lost many friends, however I've gained..." It is also considered standard practice to put a comma before a conjunction to let the reader pause before they heard the second point. You're missing one in front of but.