The Future In Front of Me

     Growing up, my parents had always encouraged my brothers and I to chase our dreams and to work hard towards what we want. We were told to never give up, even when others told us to. Even if those people who told us to stop were our parents, and that we owed it to ourselves to work towards the future we want, no matter how hard it may seem to achieve. As someone who comes from a family with both parents on disability, it was never easy growing up. I didn't live in a big house, with two cars, lobster dinners and anything I wanted at the touch of a button. Sometimes it was even hard to pay the rent, and because of this, I learned at a young age that I would have to work hard to help pay the bills and earn what I want.
     At the age of 13 I started working. This would include babysitting, shovelling snow, cutting grass, and any odd job I could muster up to get money from neighbours. Somehow, I always had money, and I would be able to lend it to my mom to help her with small things that we needed, like groceries. I felt proud of myself, but I knew it wasn't enough. By 14, I got my first real job. It was in a retirement home as a 'dietary aid' and it was hard work. Still, I worked many hours to be able to give it to my mom, and this time I was helping pay the bigger things that we needed, like rent or cable. Although I never had money or savings, we at least didn't have to go to the food bank anymore, and I started feeling independent and learned what hard work and determination could do. Since that first job, I've had several others, sometimes working two or three at once.
     It still wasn't easy though... Between 20-30 hours of work each week, 30 hours of school, and then however many extra hours it took to do homework, I was feeling burnt out. Being anemic, I often feel tired, weak, short of breath, get numbing in different parts of my body, and you can always count on me having a headache. It seems to never go away, and because of the medicine not helping (even though I've tried every form of iron, but my body 'rejects' it) I have to now worry about getting an IV drip or injection for a short amount of time starting next year. It could be very dangerous if I'm on it for too long, but being as iron deficient as I am, could cause even more problems, like major organs beginning to shut down.
      I still face many struggles financially, and medically, but one thing I'm not too worried about is my education. Although many kids don't like school, I always find comfort in being in a place so organized and with tasks always at hand. I plan to go to university next year, and I know I'll have to be working 110% harder in every aspect of my life, but throughout learning to be hard working, I'm hopeful that everything will turn out just fine. As Nelson Mandela says, "May your choice reflect your hopes, not your fears." I hope that when people see me, they see someone happy and hopeful. Not someone going through a tough time. I've had a hard past and maybe I'll have a hard future, but one thing is for sure. I will never give up trying.

Reminded to Remember

    As Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic High School attended the Remembrance day ceremony at the Sleeman centre, we had the privilege to listen to Dr. Bill Winegard express his opinions on the mental health of returning soldiers. It was made clear that he firmly believes that the Canadian Government isn't doing their part on taking care of the men and woman who fight to protect this country and it's people. Many soldiers return with mental health issues and then are just left to look after themselves. In order to fix this problem, his belief is that we should be putting more money aside for soldiers to be able to take care of themselves as well as their family.
     Although I'm very grateful for the men and woman who look after our country, I personally believe that there are many people all throughout Canada who also need this special attention. I don't agree with Stephen Harper when he thinks it's alright to give other countries millions of dollars to fix their problems. It's about time we clean up our own backyard too. It goes without saying that if you're put in the position to help someone else, you should, but when your people are suffering, enough is enough. There are many issues and problems that people everywhere are facing, but I strongly feel as if mental health issues are the root for many other problems, such as financial instability, loss of education, eating disorders, and many other issues in our daily lives.
     It's time to take care of mental health in everyone.

The Day of The Dead

      Hallowe'en is a largely celebrated 'holiday' around the world, but growing up, I was never too excited to go trick-or-treating. Large uncomfortable suits engulfed my small body as I walked and walked and walked, for such a small feat. By the time my peers were old enough to go trick-or-treating with friends, my parents warned me that I was not to go out with friends because it was "too dangerous" and that if I wanted to go out, I would have to bring my dad along with me. The last year I went out with my dad, my brothers had also decided that they didn't want to go out for Hallowe'en. It completely killed all the fun left in the holiday.
      For me, since Hallowe'en was never a big deal in my house hold, I simply believe that it's a community holiday. Kids want candy, teenagers only want to party, and parents just want the night to be over. Over the last few years, I've noticed that Hallowe'en seemed to be slowly dying out. Less and less kids would come to the door each year. This year, we didn't get any kids.
     I don't believe that Hallowe'en is only one thing. Over the years, it has definitely changed its meaning. I feel as if it may have started out as cult worship, changed to a commercialism, and now it's just the small group who still just want to go out door to door to get candy. I personally don't have much an opinion on this topic, Hallowe'en is what it is to everyone. If you want to worship demons, good for you! If you want to eat all the candy in the world, awesome! If you want to party and get white girl wasted, all the better! For me, I spent my Hallowe'en where I usually am. Dairy Queen Paisley... It was a lonely night, but I didn't mind.
   
     The last time I went trick-or-treating was the first year that my parents let me finally go out with my friends. It was grade 9, and I decided to dress up as a cat because I had a cool makeup idea. I didn't have much money for a costume, so makeup was as far as I went. Black high boots accompanied the rest of my black outfit, and that was good enough for me. My best friend (from GCVI) decided that we were going to go around our neighbourhood, maybe go to get another friend and go around that neighbourhood, then go home with our full bag of candy and watch movies and eat until our hearts content. The night turned out very different. My friend had decided we were going to go straight to our other friend's house. I was reluctant to go since it wasn't the plan but I went anyway. Instead of trick-or-treating there, we then went to go get more friends under my best friends orders. We were now in a neighbourhood that was a 40-60 minute walk away from my house, and I was scared that I was going to be late and in trouble with my parents.
      We finally went door to door to get candy, but I noticed that everyone was running from house to house, and it wasn't something I was excited to do (especially not in boots). I wasn't having any fun, and I kept getting left behind. After about half an hour of this, I finally got caught up to my friend and asked if we were going home soon. She had been texting all night, and without me knowing made plans to go to a friends house to spend the rest of the night with three guy friends from our elementary school that she hadn't seen in awhile. I walked the hour home all by myself, fighting back tears. When I was about ten minutes away, a group of drunk older guys began talking to me and following me home. They kept asking me if I would like to join them while meowing at me and laughing. One guy even tried to hold my hand. The scared little grade nine kid in me politely told them to go away as I picked up my pace. When I got home, my mom was shocked to see that I was home so early (even though it was ten o'clock), and alone. She let it go when I told her I didn't want to talk about it, but my friend and I got in a fight after that. She felt so bad about the whole ordeal and apologized a million times. We're still best friends today, but I guess I learned my lesson.
      Parents are always right, and now I dislike Hallowe'en even more than I did when I was younger. (: Stay safe kids.