Weapons Don't Kill People, People Kill People

     After initially seeing what the post was about, I shook my head, threw up my arms and yelled "no way!" because I simply did not have an opinion about the police vs. black people debate currently going on. I understand that an abundance of people all over the world are outraged by these events, but as unwholesome as it might sound, I just didn't want to get wound up about the death of yet another person. Luckily, the post wasn't asking my opinion, because if it did, it would look like this:

No Opinion.

     If I were on a consulting committee for a police force, I would fire all the trigger-happy idiots right then and there. If your own life is not in danger, killing another human being is unforgivable. Improved training would be provided as well as rules that you would only be able to carry a gun in certain circumstances. Obviously if you're planning on staking out a drug bust, things might get messy, but when walking the streets of your city and a teen engages you who is clearly not a threat, it is not necessary to pull out your gun. All police would have to attend regular psychiatric session to ensure that their mental health is in check at all times. That kind of pressure can weight on you. Any instances that would arise would have you immediately removed from the police force as well as fair trial in court on how many years in jail you should serve. You can't accidentally kill someone. A life is a life.

     My opinion doesn't stem from the events currently engaging everyone else around the America. There has been too many times where I've personally seen police in our city feel uncontrollably entitled to behaving like a jerk (for a lack of a better word) because they wear a uniform. Doing your job and being obnoxious are two different things. Someone like me should not be treated like a criminal in the streets of an average day.

The Future In Front of Me

     Growing up, my parents had always encouraged my brothers and I to chase our dreams and to work hard towards what we want. We were told to never give up, even when others told us to. Even if those people who told us to stop were our parents, and that we owed it to ourselves to work towards the future we want, no matter how hard it may seem to achieve. As someone who comes from a family with both parents on disability, it was never easy growing up. I didn't live in a big house, with two cars, lobster dinners and anything I wanted at the touch of a button. Sometimes it was even hard to pay the rent, and because of this, I learned at a young age that I would have to work hard to help pay the bills and earn what I want.
     At the age of 13 I started working. This would include babysitting, shovelling snow, cutting grass, and any odd job I could muster up to get money from neighbours. Somehow, I always had money, and I would be able to lend it to my mom to help her with small things that we needed, like groceries. I felt proud of myself, but I knew it wasn't enough. By 14, I got my first real job. It was in a retirement home as a 'dietary aid' and it was hard work. Still, I worked many hours to be able to give it to my mom, and this time I was helping pay the bigger things that we needed, like rent or cable. Although I never had money or savings, we at least didn't have to go to the food bank anymore, and I started feeling independent and learned what hard work and determination could do. Since that first job, I've had several others, sometimes working two or three at once.
     It still wasn't easy though... Between 20-30 hours of work each week, 30 hours of school, and then however many extra hours it took to do homework, I was feeling burnt out. Being anemic, I often feel tired, weak, short of breath, get numbing in different parts of my body, and you can always count on me having a headache. It seems to never go away, and because of the medicine not helping (even though I've tried every form of iron, but my body 'rejects' it) I have to now worry about getting an IV drip or injection for a short amount of time starting next year. It could be very dangerous if I'm on it for too long, but being as iron deficient as I am, could cause even more problems, like major organs beginning to shut down.
      I still face many struggles financially, and medically, but one thing I'm not too worried about is my education. Although many kids don't like school, I always find comfort in being in a place so organized and with tasks always at hand. I plan to go to university next year, and I know I'll have to be working 110% harder in every aspect of my life, but throughout learning to be hard working, I'm hopeful that everything will turn out just fine. As Nelson Mandela says, "May your choice reflect your hopes, not your fears." I hope that when people see me, they see someone happy and hopeful. Not someone going through a tough time. I've had a hard past and maybe I'll have a hard future, but one thing is for sure. I will never give up trying.

Reminded to Remember

    As Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic High School attended the Remembrance day ceremony at the Sleeman centre, we had the privilege to listen to Dr. Bill Winegard express his opinions on the mental health of returning soldiers. It was made clear that he firmly believes that the Canadian Government isn't doing their part on taking care of the men and woman who fight to protect this country and it's people. Many soldiers return with mental health issues and then are just left to look after themselves. In order to fix this problem, his belief is that we should be putting more money aside for soldiers to be able to take care of themselves as well as their family.
     Although I'm very grateful for the men and woman who look after our country, I personally believe that there are many people all throughout Canada who also need this special attention. I don't agree with Stephen Harper when he thinks it's alright to give other countries millions of dollars to fix their problems. It's about time we clean up our own backyard too. It goes without saying that if you're put in the position to help someone else, you should, but when your people are suffering, enough is enough. There are many issues and problems that people everywhere are facing, but I strongly feel as if mental health issues are the root for many other problems, such as financial instability, loss of education, eating disorders, and many other issues in our daily lives.
     It's time to take care of mental health in everyone.

The Day of The Dead

      Hallowe'en is a largely celebrated 'holiday' around the world, but growing up, I was never too excited to go trick-or-treating. Large uncomfortable suits engulfed my small body as I walked and walked and walked, for such a small feat. By the time my peers were old enough to go trick-or-treating with friends, my parents warned me that I was not to go out with friends because it was "too dangerous" and that if I wanted to go out, I would have to bring my dad along with me. The last year I went out with my dad, my brothers had also decided that they didn't want to go out for Hallowe'en. It completely killed all the fun left in the holiday.
      For me, since Hallowe'en was never a big deal in my house hold, I simply believe that it's a community holiday. Kids want candy, teenagers only want to party, and parents just want the night to be over. Over the last few years, I've noticed that Hallowe'en seemed to be slowly dying out. Less and less kids would come to the door each year. This year, we didn't get any kids.
     I don't believe that Hallowe'en is only one thing. Over the years, it has definitely changed its meaning. I feel as if it may have started out as cult worship, changed to a commercialism, and now it's just the small group who still just want to go out door to door to get candy. I personally don't have much an opinion on this topic, Hallowe'en is what it is to everyone. If you want to worship demons, good for you! If you want to eat all the candy in the world, awesome! If you want to party and get white girl wasted, all the better! For me, I spent my Hallowe'en where I usually am. Dairy Queen Paisley... It was a lonely night, but I didn't mind.
   
     The last time I went trick-or-treating was the first year that my parents let me finally go out with my friends. It was grade 9, and I decided to dress up as a cat because I had a cool makeup idea. I didn't have much money for a costume, so makeup was as far as I went. Black high boots accompanied the rest of my black outfit, and that was good enough for me. My best friend (from GCVI) decided that we were going to go around our neighbourhood, maybe go to get another friend and go around that neighbourhood, then go home with our full bag of candy and watch movies and eat until our hearts content. The night turned out very different. My friend had decided we were going to go straight to our other friend's house. I was reluctant to go since it wasn't the plan but I went anyway. Instead of trick-or-treating there, we then went to go get more friends under my best friends orders. We were now in a neighbourhood that was a 40-60 minute walk away from my house, and I was scared that I was going to be late and in trouble with my parents.
      We finally went door to door to get candy, but I noticed that everyone was running from house to house, and it wasn't something I was excited to do (especially not in boots). I wasn't having any fun, and I kept getting left behind. After about half an hour of this, I finally got caught up to my friend and asked if we were going home soon. She had been texting all night, and without me knowing made plans to go to a friends house to spend the rest of the night with three guy friends from our elementary school that she hadn't seen in awhile. I walked the hour home all by myself, fighting back tears. When I was about ten minutes away, a group of drunk older guys began talking to me and following me home. They kept asking me if I would like to join them while meowing at me and laughing. One guy even tried to hold my hand. The scared little grade nine kid in me politely told them to go away as I picked up my pace. When I got home, my mom was shocked to see that I was home so early (even though it was ten o'clock), and alone. She let it go when I told her I didn't want to talk about it, but my friend and I got in a fight after that. She felt so bad about the whole ordeal and apologized a million times. We're still best friends today, but I guess I learned my lesson.
      Parents are always right, and now I dislike Hallowe'en even more than I did when I was younger. (: Stay safe kids.

A Little Poetry In Me

     Last week in class we were told to write about poetry. I immediately rolled my eyes at this task, as I'm not very interested in writing or reading poetry. I know that poetry is a way of expression, but I've never quite been so good at putting my big thoughts into such fluid and easy rhymes. I'm always open to new challenges, and after giving it some thought, I had decided that I wanted to create something that I was going to be proud of. Not just something that was going to give me a good mark. To get inspiration, I headed to YouTube.
     While browsing one of my favourite YouTuber's channels, I came across a spoken word poem she had written entitled 'Skinny'. Dodie Clark is the owner of the channel 'doddleoddle', and is known for her covers and original songs.

     After watching this video, I found the inspiration I was looking for. Writing my first poem came easier than I thought. The other two quickly followed, and I realized I was actually enjoying writing poetry. Although I may not be the best poet, it's something I think I will continue to try once in awhile in the future. I've gotten past the stigma that it has to rhyme or be super symbolic. Instead, poetry can be more free and creative than that. The story doesn't have to be hidden away in some symbolism; it can still be told. 

Our Education System Is Broken - Sorry.

     In my (almost) 14 years of school, I have come to learn one thing more clearly than anything else I have ever been taught: our education system is broken. When I say sorry, I mean to all the students that have been told that they are too dumb to continue on with something they are passionate about, and sorry to the teachers that are forced to teach something that they do not feel passionate about themselves.
     The fact that I'm being told that I control all my results, is personally just a lie that I'm being fed to ensure that I don't blame anyone else except myself. What I find especially disappointing, is when I try my hardest but am still told, "You know, you could have done a lot better if you put more effort into it." (Something I have been told countless times- last time being last week) Excuse me? I put my heart and soul into that, and the fact that I'm being graded on my creative efforts by a teacher who wants nothing but perfection is dissatisfying to say the least. I'm not perfect, and neither is my work in any teacher's eye unless I do it by the book.
     When I got a bad grade in math last year, of course I was to blame. No one would dare blame a teacher who is forced to teach curriculum in a dated, boring way, even if everyone else in the class was barely passing.
      The truth is, the best way to get a good grade, is to not do your work in the way you want too, but instead, to do it the way the teacher wants it. If you feel strongly about a subject but it isn't what the teacher wants to hear, then write about something else. If you describe the scent of a person as nostalgia but are told to change your phrase to a scent that exists (although what you wrote made perfect "scents" [that was a pun] to you) then you must change it, unless you want a bad mark. No disrespect or anything, of course.
      I would say that ninety-nine percent of the time, teachers pick favourites. It's just what happens. When this happens, the teacher will take all their effort into making sure that the student is thriving in the environment of their classroom and that they get where they want to go.
     The only time that I have ever met an instructor's expectations while following my own interests, is when I can read about a subject and then rephrase it to exactly what the teacher is expecting, and then slapping my work on a poster board that I have painted to fit the subject. The work is relevant to what the teacher wants, but what is seen was my own work. Something that I wanted to do.

     In Finland, students learn happily. By high school, they are fluent in several different languages. I know this because this is what my friends tell me over Skype. Teachers enjoy their work. Testing isn't about memorization but actual forms of knowledge. Teaching methods aren't outdated, but instead, they are keeping up with current times and teaching methods. They help them to get jobs in fields that interest them. The learning, is paced to their needs and they enjoy what they're learning.
     I think it's time we get to those things; things that matter to teachers and students alike.

#SorryNotSorry

"Be As A Bird"

     Victor Hugo was born on February 26, 1802 in Besancon, France. He was passionate in expressing himself through literary and visual arts. Victor was a poet, playwright, novelist, visual artist, statesman and a human rights campaigner. He is best known for his novels 'Les Miserables' and 'Notre-Dame de Paris' (known by English speaking men to be 'The Hunchback of Notre-Dame'). I found it facinating how long I've been inspired by his quote: 

"be as a bird
perched on a frail branch
that she feels bending
beneath her, still she sings
away all the same
knowing she has wings"

yet, I had never bothered to look up who actually wrote it. To my surprise, the author (Victor) is actually very well known, and now inspires me with his art as well as his poetry. Victor has over 4000 drawings that he kept mostly to himself. Van Gogh and Delacroix are two well known artists artists that had the pleasure of seeing Victor's work. He would share his art with close friends and family, but it is believed that if he shared it with the public eye, that he would have outshone artists in his century. Victor only drew as a hobby and didn't want to overshadow his literary pieces with his artwork. 

Le Rocher de l'Ermitage dans un paysage imaginaire ("Ermitage Rock in an imaginary landscape")

      To me, his quote on being a bird means that you have to believe in yourself. Sometimes you're placed in tough situations, but you have to perservere. I can relate this to my writing as well as my art because sometimes in the middle of working on a piece, I decide that it's not good and that I have to scrap it. I know that all artists get writers or creators block but when you were so inspired to start something and then in the middle of working on it, it becomes a chore or a disaster, it is very discouraging. In times like those, for me it is important to remain as a bird. I have to believe in myself and learn from all experiences, knowing that I can pick myself up and create something better. A bad piece of work is still better than one I did not even attempt to do. I know that Victor will continue to inspire me in the future; now with not only his poetry, but his art too.